This Never Works
As a gardener and nature lover, I appreciate all things wild.
(Fact about me: I studied ecology and natural history in college. I love me some nature!)
This week I landed in Florida, surrounded by palms “trees” – not technically trees but grouped botanically with grasses, sedges, bamboo, grains, lilies, onions, and orchids. (Who knew?)
Palms have the amazing ability to flex and sway in high winds – sometimes bending so dramatically during hurricanes that their broad leaves actually touch the ground.
Back home in Vermont, we have sturdy oaks that rain acorns and sugar maples with their sweet sap. Radically different, but equally as magnificent as their very distant Florida friends.
Imagine perusing a garden.
Your eyes feast on variegated hostas all shades of green.
Color-drenched red zinnias.
Sprays of lavender flowers, clusters of purple flowers tiny in size but large in scent.
It’s fascinating… we can appreciate the diverse glory of the natural world, but often feel threatened by the glory of our fellow humans.
Scrolling through Facebook, the mind goes wild:
‘I wish I was that pretty.”
‘I’ll never be able to be successful like that.’
‘Why is SHE so lucky?’
Or perhaps it’s flavored with judgment:
‘Oh thank goodness my ass doesn’t look like that!’ ‘I can’t believe she posted that!’
‘She’s so annoying.’
Either way, it comes from the same place: low self-worth. The deeply seeded belief that one is, quite simply, not enough.
So we try to make up for the lack by beating ourselves up or making ourselves feel better by making other’s wrong.
Needless to say, it’s ineffective.
I get trapped in comparisonitis and judgment ON THE DAILY.
As a mother: ‘She’s so much more patient with her kids!’
As a coach running an online business: ‘Man, I suck at marketing.’
As a writer: ‘Her writing is sooo good (and mine sucks).’
As a human: ‘I’m straight up better than her.’
So I shut down. Give up. Retreat.
Scroll and judge. Judge and scroll.
Imagine YOU are one of those plants in that spectacular garden that is the world.
That you knew, without a doubt, of your perfection and brilliance. No need to prove yourself or compete in any way.
That you are fully worthy of the soil you occupy. (So much that it was never even a thought.)
And you get to look around see all the other plants and admire theirbeauty:
The ones who can go weeks without rain and the experts in producing mass seeds.
The ones with medicinal leaves and the others with the intoxicating scents.
The ones whose roots build soil and the others whose flowers grace vases on tables.
Each perfect in their own way.
Each with their own place in the world.
There is no one like you on the planet – now or forever more.
Start believing it, BECAUSE IT’S TRUE.
I’m here under this swaying palm, celebrating your magnificence, honoring mine.
P.S. Got a case of your own comparisonitis that’s keeping you stuck? (Or just feels downright ugly?)… Let’s coach on it!
Hop on a Clarity Call and let’s sort it out. Schedule it here – it’s free!